Editor's Note: I Kid You Not is a regular column on More Than Medicine, where Lauren shares her experiences of wearing both the hat of a child life specialist and a mother.

We all have internal dialogues happening in our heads on a daily basis.  Lately I have noticed the same statement being played over and over again when it comes to parenting.  Usually this statement makes its appearance as I begin to feel myself being pushed to the limit of my sanity.  What is this statement you ask?  It is the very insightful, snap you back into reality statement of “What’s it to ya, Lauren?”  Let me explain through an example…

After I had spent the day cleaning the house*, my sweet little energetic 3 year old, desperately wanted to play with her play dough.  Play dough, defined as the most get-everywhere, pain-in-the-tush creation invented for the sole purpose of driving me absolutely crazy!  We start the battle of “Not today Maddie” vs. “Pretty please Mommy!” and I can start to feel myself getting annoyed.  In the past I would have hunkered down and fought to the end to make sure I won this battle, but then I hear this little voice in my head say “What’s it to ya, Lauren?”  My mind then goes into a further dialogue with itself:  “Is it worth the battle just so you can win?  Is it worth losing so Maddie can happily play (i.e. sit quietly for an extended amount of time)?  Is this one of those significant parenting moments where it is extremely important for your child to know you mean business or is this just you being a brat and not wanting little pieces of colored dough all over your floor?”    

Needless to say, the play dough came out, the house was quiet for a good 30 minutes, and it took me all of 5 minutes to get out the vacuum cleaner to clean up the mess.  It was totally worth me backing down from the fight and cleaning up for 2 seconds to have a happy child and a quiet house.  “What’s it to ya?” has become my own person reality check in terms of thinking before reacting.  It is easy to get caught up in the best interest of myself rather than the best interest of those around me, so this has become my little back pocket tool to remember that Maddie has no reason to care about my desire to keep the house clean.  She cares about play and having fun and my job is to provide those opportunities as much as I can….especially if I am only restricting the opportunities for my own silly reasons.  

As a side note, I do believe this thought process would also be very beneficial in dealing with husbands as well as children.  Unfortunately, I am still planning on winning the battles I get into with the good ole hubby!  I will let you know if I take the high road any time soon. 

* By “spent the day” I really mean “spent the absolute minimum amount of time I can making the house look half way presentable to anyone who may come over that has never been to the house before.”  My core belief is that if you have been to my house at least one time, then you know how it CAN look.  If you come back after that first time then I have no problem allowing you to see the true McCann house in all its glory! 

By Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Do you know that March is Child Life Month?

Well, if not, you do now, and as is the tradition of many professional months, we use it as an opportunity for education and advocacy.  This usually means that on top of all of the other great things that the Child Life program at Le Bonheur Children's does, we do that much more.  I should share that this is true not just for us, but for almost all of the other child life programs around the nation (and world).  It is a great reminder for us of the importance of the work we do.

Over the course of this month, we're going to have a variety of different child life specialist write different blog posts.  Our hope is to showcase different aspects of our roles here in the hospital, and we'll just be scratching the surface.  I would encourage you to ask any questions of us you want (just leave a comment), and we'll make sure we answer it.

Now, to start of the month, I thought I would share a link to a poem about the role of child life specialists.  Thanks to the Child Life Council for sharing it, and to Steve Slowinski, a former child life intern at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center, for writing it.

Happy Child Life Month!

by Jamie Droke
Child Life Specialist

Everyone would rather be commended for their good job than reprimanded for a bad job and children are no different. I don’t know about you, but I am much more inspired to work harder or do better when someone tells me what a great job I am doing on a regular basis than when someone criticizes all of my “not good enough” moments. For example, when my husband thanks me for making a good dinner or spending my Saturday cleaning the house, I am much more willing to do it again next time, maybe even better than this last time. Children respond in much the same way.

There is an evidence based program designed to help children with behavioral problems called Parent-Child Interaction Therapy or PCIT. I remember learning about PCIT in one of my graduate school classes and thinking, “Why do we need to wait to use these strategies until behavior problems develop? Maybe if we just used these parenting strategies from the beginning, just maybe we could prevent some of the behavior problems.” Now, I am not a parent, so I cannot speak to how well these strategies work with my own children, but I can tell you how important some of the aspects of it are to my everyday child life practice in the hospital.

The first part of PCIT is called Child Directed Interaction. Two of the most important aspects from this part of PCIT that I use everyday with patients and siblings are enthusiasm and labeled praise. Research has demonstrated that children respond best when they receive over the top, maybe a little ridiculously enthusiastic praise for specific things they are doing well. For example, during a procedure, a patient might be screaming and saying terribly mean things to the nurse or lab tech (trust me, it happens), but are still able to hold their arm still. The best way to change this behavior is to provide enthusiastic praise such as, “Oh my goodness, I am just so proud of you for holding so still! You are doing such a good job at holding your arm still!” This praise is much easier for kids to understand than just a simple “good job.”

In the second part of PCIT called Parent Directed Interaction, among other things, parents are taught to provide positive instead of negative commands. The positive nature of the command further emphasizes the importance of positive reinforcement for children. When preparing a child for a procedure, I might say, “your only job is to hold your arm really still” instead of “don’t move your arm.” And then of course, when they do that well, I can provide enthusiastic praise for their doing a good job holding still.

Everyone would prefer to hear what they are doing right instead of what they are doing wrong. Children are definitely no different. They are more able to grow and develop appropriately when they have someone who will give them positive reinforcement instead of criticism. I invite you to try some of these techniques with your own children and let me know how it turns out.

Editor's Note: Stephanie's Stuff is a new column to More Than Medicine written by Stephanie Kellough, one of our activity coordinators. She will share insights and tricks that she's learned from her role at Le Bonheur.

by Stephanie Kellough
Activity Coordinator

by Rachel Franklin
Child Life Specialist

Has it ever gotten your attention when someone…

One of the most remarkable qualities about each of these random acts of kindness is that they often have the potential to make a small, positive impact on both the “giver” and the “receiver.” February 13 – 19th is Random Acts of Kindness Week. At Le Bonheur, sharing Random Acts of Kindness with others is a usual practice for many. This week, we want to share a few of these moments with you.

We may never fully anticipate the ripple effect of a small but genuine act of kindness shared with another. Through the tangible and intangible, touch a heart, impact a life, or just change a small moment with an act of kindness. What will you share with someone today?…tomorrow?…next week?  

Editor's Note: I Kid You Not is a regular column on More Than Medicine, where Lauren shares her experiences of wearing both the hat of a child life specialist and a mother.

While I was out on maternity leave, I had the very humbling experience of having my own child hospitalized.  My little Emerson caught a booger of a virus called RSV, a respiratory infection that can cause breathing difficulty in young infants.  At 5 weeks old, her little body was working too hard to breathe so we needed some help from our good friends at Le Bonheur.  Adding to the fun was the fact that this 5 day hospital stay took place right at Christmas.  So besides having to handle a sick child at the hospital, we also had to handle making sure Maddie didn’t realize that Christmas was being celebrated at everyone’s house but hers.  Definitely a Christmas to remember!  

Many people have asked me “what was it like to be on the other side?”  Some may think I would have received special treatment because I work for the hospital, but I truly believe we received the same wonderful care that anyone else would have received.  I do think I had the benefit of knowing and believing that my husband and I are the best advocates for our child, so we did not hesitate to speak up and ask questions.  The importance of advocacy is one thing our Child Life staff is always stressing to families…the need to be the voice for your child and do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable with the plan of care.  Luckily, we knew this, but we were also encouraged to be our child’s advocate by many of the staff members who worked with us.  

What I really learned from our hospital experience are the stressors families are often facing while at the hospital.  Whether they are here for days or months, there are so many things that must be figured out and taken care of outside of the hospital as well as in.  Who will watch Maddie?  How will we explain why Christmas is not happening on the 25th?  I really want a Diet Coke, but I don’t want to walk downstairs and leave Emerson alone.  Should Chris go home to be with Maddie or stay at the hospital with Emerson?  I wish we could go to church.  Who is going to feed the dog?  I really want to take a shower, but I didn’t bring any clean clothes to change into.  There are so many hours of just sitting here….

Some of those issues are obviously more important to deal with in a timely manner than others, but the fact is that at the time, they were all very important to me and my family.  This isn’t to induce a pity party, but rather to realize that the big issues and the little ones all mount up to a family having to deal with something they were not planning for and that is causing stress in their life.  This experience really opened my eyes up to ALL the issues/stressors/struggles/inconveniences families face when they are thrown into the hospital and I now have even more respect for what each individual family may be going through while they are with us.

by Cassie Nash
Child Life Specialist 

What are you grateful for? Letting me see another day.

What are some of your favorite foods: Pizza and nachos. Not together, but separate. : )

What do you do when you are not in the hospital? I like to go to my cousin's house, play games, watch movies, do homework, play with my brothers and sisters, and go to Creative Life Ministries on Saturdays. 

Who is your hero? God

What is your favorite music? Nickelback and Eminem

Why are you at Le Bonheur? I have sickle cell disease. It's painful, not good, and I have pointed red blood cells. Normal red cells are circles. It sometimes makes you go to the hospital.

What is Le Bonheur like? It's nice, big, good nurses, great teen room, good doctors, and *good child life specialists. 
*(How sweet! I did not tell him to say that!) 

What is your favorite thing about Le Bonheur? The Teen Room and Family Resource Center

by Jamie Droke
Child Life Specialist

While some of us might remember learning how to play a certain game as a child, I can bet that no one remembers learning how to play. Play is something that children just know how to do, even as infants. Of course the play of an infant is very different from the play of a teenager, but the purposes of play remain the same. It has been said that play is the work of childhood. In the same way that adults work some kind of job, children work too in the form of play. A vast majority of what we do as child life specialists somehow involves play and the reason for this is not just because children need to be entertained. Of course it is true that play helps keep children occupied and happier, but this is certainly not the most important reason that children need to play. In fact, this reason is a long way down on a long list.

In a report published in 2007, the American Academy of Pediatrics gives several purposes of play. Of course, not every benefit on the list is attained through every type of play, and I will cover types of play and their benefits in the next post I write. So, let’s start by looking at some of the purposes or benefits of play as outlined by the American Academy of Pediatrics:

• Play is an outlet for a child’s creativity.
• Play assists the development of physical, cognitive, and emotional strength.
• Play is the way in which a child engages and interacts with the world.
• Play gives a child the chance to master an environment.
• Play helps a child adapt and adjust to a new setting.
• Play gives a child a safe way to face and conquer fears.
• Play improves confidence.
• Play builds resiliency.
• Play builds secure relationships between playmates.
• Play is a communication tool for a child who cannot figure out how to express him or herself verbally.

If you think closely about this list (which is by no means all-inclusive), you can see that there are few other activities in which children can engage to attain these benefits. And of course there is the benefit that play is enjoyable to children. In fact, to discipline children, we often suspend a child’s play. Discipline is important and should not be left to chance, but don’t make your child go without play for too long. When they are not playing, they are missing out on so many opportunities for growth and expression. Next time I will give you the scoop on the types of play and how to encourage all of the different types of play for your child.

Editor's Note: During a recent staff discussion, we realized that each of had a favorite "child life" memory. This led us to ask various staff members to share one of their favorite child life memories. Our first in the series is written by Lauren McCann, who's discussing her decision to go into the field.

By Lauren McCann
Child Life Manager

One of my favorite child life moments goes all the way back to college when I learned about this amazing career.  It was the second semester of my sophomore year and I still had not declared a major.  I was interested in the medical field, but didn’t feel the calling to be a nurse and could not imagine going to school for as long as it took to be a doctor.  I also definitely wanted to work with children, but knew in my heart that I did not have the patience to be a teacher.  So I basically spent the first year and a half of college taking the required courses and also taking classes the peaked my interest, such as child development and adolescent psychology.

One day, I overheard (or eavesdropped) the conversation of a senior sorority sister talking about her major.  It was all about working with children to help them overcome their fears/anxieties while in the hospital.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!  I quickly jumped into the conversation and asked her as many questions as she could stand.  When the conversation was over, I knew I had found my calling.  The very next morning, I went to my university’s registrar’s office and declared my major, Human Development and Family Studies with a focus in Child Life.  

I guess this is one of my favorite moments because this is when Child Life entered my life.  After that moment, every educational and career decision I made was all about how I could be the best Child Life Specialist I could be.  Child Life is my heart and I am so thankful for how nosy I was that day and how it changed my life!

Editor's Note: I Kid You Not is a regular column on More Than Medicine, where Lauren shares her experiences of wearing both the hat of a child life specialist and a mother.

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

There’s nothing like severe weather to rattle everything, figuratively and literally. Like many other people around the area, I spent long parts of last night paying attention to the weather. As my own children asked a great deal of questions about the potential of the storm, I was reminded about how scary severe weather can be to children. 

If you child gets nervous about possible bad weather, here are some types to help:

• Learn about weather: Sure, we all remember being in school learning about sun and rain, but how much would you say you know now? Take some time for you and your child to learn about weather. Why does it rain? What are tornadoes? What is lightning? There is any number of ways to learn about it. The more your child understands about weather (and why it happens) the more secure they will feel. In the hospital, this is similar to how/why we prepare children for upcoming procedures. The more that is understood, the easier the overall experience.
• Have a plan and practice it: There are lots of time public service announcements and reminders to have a disaster plan and kit ready. So, if you don’t have one already, develop one with your child. This may involve them helping to put together a disaster kit and talking about where to go if there was a fire. Once you have a plan developed, practice it as a family. Children in school are already familiar with fire drills, so this should be similar. Giving your child a job to do helps to provide them with the control, which can help to ease fears.
• Make a game of it: So, bad weather has rolled around and you and your family are in their safe area. Well, what do now? Why not play a game. If there’s a particular game your family enjoys playing, than use that. If not, try making up a game. Also, be sure to include activities and things to do when pulling your supplies together. It may sound like extra work, but having everyone focused on an activity during a potentially stressful time.

There are a number of other things that you can do, especially if they will help your child. The bottom line is that anything you can do in advance will help your child feel calmer when severe weather is a possibility. Besides, you’ll be surprised how much better your feel about the situation.

by Fordell (age 14)
Le Bonheur Patient

Loves every patient

   makEs good scrambled eggs :)

     Blast off on the 10th floor.

    Other floors are nice too.

       No patient is left unsatisfied.

Hope fills there.      

           Every surgery patient gets a gift.

      YoU'll really love this hospital.

It helps you get thRough your rough time.                     

by Ginger Joe
School Teacher

What makes a child extraordinary?  C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R!  Who comes to my mind but dear Opie Taylor from the The Andy Griffith Show.  Remember the impact that Paw, Aunt Bee, and Barney had on Opie in the many situations he encountered? At home and at school your child was guided that same way in developing his character to help him learn the difference between right and wrong by helping him to focus on his actions, and how to interact with others. So, I ask what has happened to the character of our youth today?

Today’s pop culture spotlights self-destruction, negative role models, glorifies celebrity and the accumulation of wealth at all costs. All you have to do is just look at the results by picking up a newspaper or turning on your TV: escalating violence in schools, antisocial behavior, and the abrasive language of public dialogue. We all know about the three R's in education, but what’s happened to our three C’s:  courtesy, compassion, and common sense?

Teaching children to make smart choices will help them to become compassionate and loyal individuals, and can greatly reduce future problems they may develop or encounter. I believe good character can sweep potential minefields by imparting the building blocks of successful emotional growth of respect, responsibility, kindness, integrity, honesty, empathy, and leadership. If your child grows up to be a doctor but is greedy and uncaring, that advanced degree counts for very little, for we all would have failed miserably in nurturing a true human being.

I believe we should raise emotionally balanced, socially compassionate, and caring individuals with a solid value system. Remember the The Andy Griffith Show?  Now those were good solid values being taught there. Those shows made use of real life situations that society imposes on us to make impulsive decisions with bad repercussions. In fact, I remember one language arts teacher who taught an afterschool character education program using episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. I remembered those few kids and that one teacher was all our school needed to raise our character IQ. The school atmosphere gradually changed for the better; more smiles on everyone’s faces, less tension in the school building, and just an overall feeling of being accepted by everyone. Our emotional IQ was reaching new heights! 

We love our children and we care about their futures. We want to equip them with the tools to tackle life with gusto. This is a shared responsibility and we have to continue to inspire self-initiated action (e.g., the ability to say a heartfelt “No,” rather than mouthing off), promoted by healthy self–esteem, self-awareness, and personal accountability.  In order to meet the growing demands of our culture, we have to go beyond teaching basic academic skills and equip our teens to live peacefully in an age of exploding knowledge. Let’s continue to do our unsung part in developing and maintaining good character in our teens and ourselves. 

A true story to ponder:  I found a crumpled dollar bill on the cafeteria floor last Friday and asked people at the nearby tables if it was their money. Not one claimed it was theirs and so I without a second thought I took it to the cashier. I told the cashier I had found this money on the floor and no one around the tables had taken claim to it. The cashier excitedly exclaimed, “It’s yours! Just keep it.” Well my Opie Taylor instinct told me, no, I couldn't keep it for any reason and I just would not feel right keeping the money. So, I just handed it over to the cashier and left with a  “good feeling” on Friday the 13th.  Now, I ask you: “What do you think the cashier will do with the lost money?”

by Cassie Nash
Child Life Specialist

A while back I wrote about what I was learning in the book I was reading Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Well, I am still intermittently reading it and thought I would give you some updates on what else I was learning.  

One chapter is all about communication.  In the Bible, in Deuteronomy chapter 6, it talks about communicating with your children while talking, sitting, walking, lying down, and when you rise! That's a lot of opportunities for communication. I want to encourage you to not have all of your times of communication with your children when something is wrong. Tripp says, "A regular habit of talking together prepares the way for talking in strained situations. You will never have the hearts of your children if you talk with them only when something has gone wrong." This is crucial if/when hospitalization time comes. 

As a child life specialist, part of my job is not only to help prepare patients and families for tests and procedures, but to help them get through those tests and procedures. It is absolutely wonderful when patients have relationships with their caregivers so that when the time comes to have an IV placed or to have a lumbar puncture we are all there to help and love on the child. 

Children need to know that their caregivers love them, and children need to trust their caregivers. I think that love and trust can be established with communication and lots of it! Tripp also says, "You undertake the shepherding process through rich and multifaceted communication." I have noticed that when it comes time to do a procedure, the patients and families that have a lifestyle of having "shepherding" communication tend to do better. So talk with your children and talk with them often!