by Cassie Gorman
Child Life Specialist

What do a pot on the stove containing rice and a chicken in its entirety (yes, including the face) and a formal introduction between an American and a Doka Goda village chief have in common?

Me.

I recently had the privilege of taking a trip to Nigeria. I traveled there with my church and ended up being able to spend time with some local children. I did not get to visit their hospital, but was able to use some of my child life skills.

The family that I stayed with had three children (soon to be 4; Fibi, the mother, will give birth in early October). Fibi told me about a traumatic medical experience that her son had. It was disheartening hearing about the lack of patient and family centered care, but it made me appreciate Le Bonheur on so many different levels. It was a joy to be able to teach her coping skills, to give her support, and to encourage her to take part in the medical care of her children.

Another joy that I had was being able to attest to the fact that play and laughter are universal.  After one of the village’s church services, some children were singing dancing. I jumped right in and danced with them. They giggled, grabbed my hand, and taught me their dance moves.  Later that evening, the pastor said, "Do you want to know what they are saying? They think you are okay. You are welcome here."

Actions truly do speak louder than words.

The cultural gap was bridged through song and dance. How beautiful it was to be welcomed in to this village through the arms of the children. No matter what country you find yourself in, know that children are a gift from God. I look forward to more trips to Nigeria, but was grateful to be welcomed back to Memphis through the arms of the children at Le Bonheur.

by Tracey Deaux
Child Life Specialist

Working as a Child Life Specialist in the Infant Care Unit, I see a multitude of families everyday.  I also see the importance of parent involvement during a child’s hospital stay.  There is a roller coaster of emotions felt during a parent’s stay in the hospital.  The one thing that remains, however, is the love parents have for their child. 

As a Child Life Specialist, I encourage parents to care for their infant as they would at home.  This means doing all of the usual things, such as rocking their baby, singing to their baby, and reading to their baby.  It’s a wonderful opportunity for parents to bond with their child.

What does parental presence really look like in a hospital setting?

Parental presence is unique for each family, but there are some pieces that are the same.  Regular visits to the bedside are important to an infant’s overall experience in the hospital.  This helps to bring consistent familiarity to an infant, in a place that is unfamiliar territory, is crucial to his or her growth and development.

What are some things a parent can do to be present throughout their infant’s time in the hospital?

Some things parents can do to be present throughout their infant’s hospitalization is spend the night to learn the routine, assist during diaper change and bath time, help with feeding, keep a journal of their infants’ likes, dislikes, and favorite positions, read and talk to their baby.  Parents can also bring a cloth from home with their personal scent and place it in their baby’s crib, provide soft touch, decorate their child’s room, and take pictures of special moments in the hospital.

The most important thing a parent can do is to be present.  A warm body and a lot of love goes a long way to help parents bond with their infant while in the hospital and be well on their way home.

by Lauren McCann
Child Life Manager

It happened.  I was praying it would never happen, but it did.  My head told me it couldn’t be avoided, but my heart prayed I could get by without it happening for just a little while longer.  “Why me,” I asked myself.  But I know I’m not special…it happens to everyone.  My toddler is starting to assert her independence, which means this has been a ticking time bomb….  So what happened? 

A full-out, monster size, obnoxious temper tantrum.  In public.  And at Target nonetheless!! 

Let me first say that I support Walmart and Target equally, so I am not a biased shopper, but that day, at the moment of meltdown, I swear the first words out of my mouth were “Please don’t do this here!!  Not here!  Not at Target!!”  Breakdowns are common place at Walmart…it’s part of the shopping experience.  Not at Target though.  I hardly ever hear screaming and carrying on in those pretty red aisles.  Why did it have to be at Target?!? 

Needless to say, I was mortified.  Initially I was just surprised she was melting down for what seemed like no reason.  She had just had a nap and a snack, so it was perfect shopping time.  Why, oh why, was she doing this to me??  Oh, I know why, it was to get what she wanted.  Although, the books say to hold strong, ignore the tantrum, and not give in, what do you think I did??  I immediately gave in to what she wanted to quiet her down and then started bribing her to keep her quiet!  Mom of the Year, right?!? 

I can ignore a tantrum all day long at the house, but not at Target.  At Target, the name of the game is squash the noise as fast as possible so you do not offset the peace of those beautiful color-coded aisles!  I know, I know….I should be strong and start teaching my child that those behaviors are not acceptable, but in those moments, I am not above a bribe.  When the battle is on and I am becoming mortified, it just needs to end….and if a Buzz Lightyear toy will do it, than so be it!

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Yesterday was an exciting and entertaining day in child life at Le Bonheur.  We held the 3rd Annual Child Life Awards, which is an opportunity to celebrate all of the great things that go on within the department.  It’s definitely the hospital event of the year.

Now, as some of you may know, Child Life Month is in March.  So, why do we hold the Child Life Awards in the summer?  The answer is fairly simple.  We spend the entirety of Child Life Month educating and advocating and end up doing more work, simply by raising awareness.  By holding the awards at a different time, we get to enjoy the event without being exhausted.  (Well, at least not exhausted from Child Life Month…)

Last year, we introduced a new element to the Child Life Awards, the Child Life Associate of the Year.  This is an award given to a child life staff member that has been nominated from someone else within the department.  The winner is a person that over the past year has exemplified the mission and work of Child Life Services.

I have the privilege of receiving the nominations, and delivering them to the selection committee.  After reading of the nominations for this year, it was definitely a tough decision.  However, the committee did make a selection.

I am please to congratulate Molly Pearce as the 2010 Child Life Associate of the Year.  Molly serves as the child life specialist for our respiratory unit, and has been an important member of that team for quite some time.  She works with our child life interns and Teen Advisory Council, and has played an important role in the hospital's implementation of positioning for comfort.  Molly has a "can do" attitude that has made her a wonderful resource for patients and family.  We couldn’t be prouder of her!

by Anne Hamilton & Stephanie Martin
Child Life Interns

A day in the life of an intern is never the same from one day to the next, but it always seems to amount to something eventful and new.

After riding the shuttle to Le Bonheur, we began our day by signing in at Volunteer Services. Depending on the rotation, we headed to our unit to get report from the nurses on each patient. Anne spent the beginning days of her internship on 6 West with the orthopedic and hematology patients while Stephanie spent her first four weeks on 6 Central with the diabetes and renal patients.

During this rotation, we learned the basics of introducing Child Life to patients and families, how to write a chart note, and the importance of using the treatment room when possible. We both quickly realized the challenges of being a child life specialist and also how rewarding the job can be.

The next four weeks would be quite different from our inpatient experiences. Anne worked early mornings preparing patients for surgery in the Same Day Surgery Unit, and Stephanie worked late nights in the hustle and bustle of the Emergency Department. Each experience brought an opportunity in which we could learn and grow.

During the last four weeks of our internship, Anne returned to an inpatient unit while Stephanie spent time in a Critical Care unit. Over time, we both gained independence and began to see patients on our own. Whether we were preparing a child for surgery, providing distraction during an IV start, or conducting a sibling visit for critical care, we were practicing Child Life.

Even though our environments and patient population were totally different, we had the same goals.  Our days were spent building rapport, interacting with the medical team, and meeting the various needs of patients and families. Now as it is time to transition from being an intern to a Child Life Specialist, we are prepared, confident, and ready.

by Lauren McCann
Child Life Manager

Ahhhhh, bedtime.  Such a wonderful time of the day.  The peace, the quiet.  We LOVE bedtime at our house!  One thing I can brag on is that my child is a sleeper.  Always has been, hopefully always will be (knock on wood!).  We have a great system that works really well for us.  We do bath, quiet time, turn on the music, and hit the bed.  Works like a charm….until one day….

For some reason, she started screaming at bedtime.  She wasn’t our sweet little sleeping angel anymore and we didn’t know what the problem was.  Day after day she screamed and cried and we were at a loss for what to do. 

Then one day, on a whim, my sweet husband said, “maybe she is sick and tired of that boring Mozart stuff you play for her?”  (We have about 6 CDs that we received at gifts from baby showers.  Some were registered for, others were just thoughtful gifts.  Since my daughter was born, we had always played the calm relaxing CDs for bed.)  So, in my sweet, loving wifely reply, I said, “Fine!  You pick out her music tonight Mr. Music Therapist!”  So that night, my husband picked the music.  Something soothing, something calming you ask??  Nope, it was the Beatles. 

Forget the studies on brain development and the power of classical music.  No, we are doing some John, Paul, George and Ringo at our house and she LOVES it.  Now, she runs into her room at bedtime and goes straight for the CD player.  I help her push the buttons to turn it on and as soon as she hears the music, she raises her arms for me to pick her up and put her in bed. 

Lately we have been talking about other music options we can have handy just in case she rebels against the Beatles.  Maybe we will move on to Death Leppard?  Or a little Beyonce?  ….only the best for our kid! 

by Jennifer Taylor
Child Life Specialist

Being a Child Life Specialist encompasses many components.  Providing family centered care is a major goal at Le Bonheur. So, Let me tell you about my story.

During a conversation with one of my parents I discovered that she had a special dream.  She told me that she and her fiancé were planning to get married.  Plans were interrupted when her child had to be hospitalized.  Her dream was to have her baby to be a part of her wedding ceremony.

I started thinking and asking myself – “How can I make her dream come true?  So I started investigating the possibility of having a wedding at Le Bonheur.  Once I found out that I would be able to have the wedding at Le Bonheur I shared the good news with the parents.  They were so excited!

After speaking with the parents I sat down and said to myself – “Wow what have I done?”  I had never planned a wedding before.  But, since I had made a commitment I had to follow through.  The parents and I met and I shared the details of the wedding.  There response was go for it. 

Do I owe special favors to the the Child Life staff and other Le Bonheur staff?  Yes I do!!!!!!  Everyone that I approached with this idea volunteered willingly to do whatever they could to help with the wedding.  Talk about amazing team work!!!!   Staff volunteered to assist with decorations, provide a special dress for the baby, and donate refreshments. 

I don’t know who was more excited, the parents or myself.

There is something very inspiring about helping others and bringing joy into the lives of the patients and families.  I truly understand now what a family centered approach is all about.  I also understand that in the midst of sadness and worry there is always something that someone can do to bring a ray of sunshine into the life of others.

The idea of having the wedding ceremony at Le Bonheur was perfect.  It allowed the parents to have the baby present during the wedding.  The event was the first wedding ceremony held in the chapel.  The bride wore a white gown carrying a bouquet of flowers.    At the very end of the ceremony, much to the family’ surprise, a nurse was able to bring the baby to the ceremony.  There was not a dry eye in the chapel.

Can dreams come true?  Yes they can!!!

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Author's Note: Technophilia is the love (or obsession) of technology.

Yesterday marked the first post of the new Technophilia column, and in it, I included five of my top 10  iPhone applications that help parents.  Today, you get the rest of the list!

• Fluid: This is a great application that turns your iPhone into a reflecting pool that reacts when you touch it.  This is a great distraction for young children.  They love playing with the water and watching it react to various styles of being touched.  Additionally, you can change the background photo, which my kids have enjoyed.  If you’re looking for a nice quite application to occupy your child for a few minutes, this is a great one.
• MarksMenus: This Memphis grown iPhone application is a must have for any about town parent.  Using the iPhone’s built in GPS, Mark’s Menus tells you what restaurants are around you, but also gives you access to their menu.  Is there a specific dish or type of food you’re looking for, just search for it?  This is great if you’re out running errands or are just looking to eat somewhere new.  Ohh, did I mention it is great for a parent’s date night?
• Arts Memphis: It’s important that children be exposed to the arts early and often.  So, what better application than Arts Memphis to help you keep our finger on the pulse of the Memphis art scene.  This Memphis-centric application covers theatre, music, visual arts, dance, and more.  To help you wallet out, the Arts Memphis application will tell you which events are free, which is always a plus. It is a quick way to fill a boring afternoon into one that’s unforgettable.
• WebMD: Every parent I know, myself included, struggles when their child is sick. There always seems to be a feeling of wanting to know more.  The WebMD iPhone app can help parents feel more at ease.  This is a great application for learning more about medical conditions or helping with some armchair diagnosing.  The WebMD application is a great resource, but please remember that it is no substitute for your or your child’s relationship with their doctor.
• Skee-Ball:  Up to now, I have talked about several applications being a great distraction for children, and this one could be included in that category.  However, in the case of Skee-Ball, I recommend it as a great distraction for parents.  For starters, it’s skee ball, and who doesn’t love that?  Everyone needs a mini-mental vacation from time to time, and this game helps deliver just that.  This intuitive application doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but gives you all of the joy of playing.  So, tune in and tune out, even if for only five minutes.

So, between yesterday and today, those are my top 10 iPhone applications for parents.  My hope is that you find the list useful, and don’t be afraid to try out new and different applications.  You never know when you might find the perfect one for you. 

I would love to hear your favorite applications that help you as a parent.  And if there is some technological mystery that, as a parent, puzzles you, leave us a comment.  We’ll look into it, and do a future column on it.

Author's note:  MarksMenus is a national platofrm that provides more than 35,000 menus for restaurants in over 2000 cities.  Just look at the great technological services that are being made right in our own backyard!

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Author's Note: Technophilia is the love (or obsession) of technology.

Being a parent in the digital age is a tough gig.  You have to navigate constantly changing technology and weigh the pros and cons it has for your child.  That’s why I’m taking a shot at a technology column to help families try to figure some of this stuff out.  And, in full disclosure, I am a total technology dork, and I just love the stuff.

Now, considering all of the technology that is out for children and families, I have to start somewhere.  I thought I would start with a platform that is close to my heart, the iPhone.  (Don’t believe me? Just ask my wife!)  Parenting is a job that you are constantly “on”, and any help we can get to make things a little easier is a gift.  So, to kick off the first Technophilia, I thought I would share my top 10 iPhone applications for parents.

These are listed in no particular order:

• Calendar: Yes, I realize that this is an application that is included with the phone, but from what I’ve seen, most folks don’t realize the full potential of it.  The application can be fully integrated with various web-based calendars.  In my family, we created a Family Calendar using Google Calendars, and now can quickly see what are the major family functions.  I can add something from my iPhone and it shows up on all of the other calendars.  I promise, this will save lots of confusion and is well worth the set up time.
• Memphis Zoo: One of my more favorite Memphis-centric applications, this application gives you tons of up-to-date information on the Memphis Zoo.  It includes a map, information on the animals, and the daily schedule of activities.  It even includes a feature that allows you to see where friends of yours, using the application at the zoo, are.  What can I say, other than, it’s great!
• White Noise: Traveling with children overnight is a challenge, and it is especial difficult if they are a light sleeper.  The application allows you to introduce a several different forms of white noise in the background.  On top of several sounds choices (including my favorite Extreme Rain Pouring), White Noise includes a shut off times and the ability to adjust the pitch of the sound.  This was a lifesaver on a recent family trip, and my kids thought it was the greatest thing ever to pick the sound.
• Toddler Teasers: In reality, Toddler Teasers is a series of educational games, but I had to mention them.  These are a perfect activity to engage your toddler in fun learner that can also serve as a distraction.  I have found this series to be particularly effective during times we’ve had to wait (i.e. restaurants, doctors offices).
• Grocery Gadget: It seems like in my family, we are constantly running to the grocery store to pick up something.  That’s why I’ve become a big fan of Grocery Gadget.  It is an application that helps to keep track of your grocery list(s).  If you’re like me, you lose lists or think that you can remember everything (only to forget something).  This application has saved me more than one return to the grocery store.

In tomorrow’s post, I’ll cover the next 5 iPhone applications.  Until then, I’d love to hear some of your suggestions.

Lauren McCann
Child Life Manager

In my first post, I let you in on the fact that I am a parent just like many of you out there.  Also, like many of you, I am just trying to make the best decisions I can for my family.  I believe that in many instances we all go against the grain in our parenting decisions, but that it is part of what parenting is all about.  I promised an example of a typical daily decision we make, so let’s talk about the television….

We have all heard the stat about the appropriate amount of TV a child should be watching.  Would we love to be following that guideline in our house….yes!  Are we following that guideline….nope!  My husband and I are pretty sure we are letting our 1 ½ year old watch more television than we should.  Why do I think it is too much?  I kind of got the feeling when most of her talking begins and ends with her pointing at the TV and saying “Buzz” (as in Lightyear, Space Ranger).  Toy Story has become a favorite in our house…and we are using it to our advantage. 

Couple of reasons why Buzz has become family…just to name a few:

1. Our own survival - We can get (fill in the blank) done so much faster when she is in her Toy Story world.
2. I’m Selfish – My daughter NEVER lets me spend time just holding her.  I love having those moments of one-to-one time with her in my arms, but she won’t have it….unless Toy Story is on!  When Buzz is on, she doesn’t realize I am holding her in my arms and listening to her breathe in and out, in and out….melt my heart!

I do not write all of this to start a debate over television watching and how much is too much.  I know my reasoning for letting her watch TV and that’s it….it’s my reasoning.  Maybe you don’t let your child watch TV at all.  Maybe the television in on at your house from dawn until dusk.  Whatever the case, I support your choice.  I stand firm on the fact that as long as there is no question of abuse or neglect, than we should be supportive of each other as parents/caregivers and have faith that we are doing all we can on a daily basis to raise good kids….and not go crazy in the meantime!  

Next time I will fill you in our bedtime music choices…

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

No, I am not talking about this year’s must have back to school supply.  Besides, if you think backpacks are already heavy, just put a jeweled lunch box in one.  Instead, I’m focusing on making a healthy lunch for your child to take to school.

The first week of school is now over, and my guess is that routines are starting to appear.  One of the eternal struggles that parents have is packing a lunch for your children.  Everyone wants to pack a healthy lunch, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem easy.  Or, you may not know where to start with it.

Have no fear!  I recently sat down with Amanda Helton, Le Bonheur Children’s Director of Clinical Nutrition, to ask her about the perfect lunch box.  Here is the great information that she had to share:

Looking for a jeweled up lunch box?  Remember your 3 C's...Color, Cut, and Clarity

Put color in the lunch box with a variety of fruits and veggies.  Try to put at least 1 fruit and 1 veggie in each lunch.

Cut up fresh veggies and fruits when you get home from the grocery store to make it easier for the working parent to put together a quick lunch.  Add some fun dipping sauces such as low fat ranch, low fat honey mustard, or vinaigrettes for the veggies.  Dried fruits make a great snack mix, especially when you add in dry roasted nuts and cereals. 

Get some clarity on a balanced plan from My Pyramid. You can put in your child's weight, height, and activity level and get great info and ideas on how many servings of each slice of the pyramid your child should have each day.

There you have it, quick and simple advice.  It’s as simple as remember the 3 Cs.  So, go out there and pack the perfect lunch box!

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Today marks the fourth day of school for the Memphis City School system, and my prediction is that the newness of the school year is starting to wear off.  Homework is beginning, talk of quizzes, and lots more.  You can just about smell the smoke coming out of student’s ears, as they begin to use their brains again.

How can you spot when the newness wears off? It may translate in not want to get up in the mornings, or perhaps talk of how great it would be to still be on break.  Typically, it begins with a cacophony of complaints and groans. (And, yes, I did intentionally throw in an SAT word since it is the beginning of the school year.)

Now, I could be wrong, but chances are, you will have to deal with the situation sooner, rather than later.  Parents are faced with the challenge of keeping their child motivated during the start of the school year.  If you’ve ever experienced this, it’s tough to get excited about it.  And with this kind of heat, it’s tough to get excited about anything.

So, what’s a parent to do?

Here are a couple of approaches to try:

• Listen to them: By listening to your child, you are letting them know they are important, and are setting yourself up as a support.  This means giving your full attention.  So, no iPhones…
• Don’t just listen to the words: Most children I’ve heard complain about school typically have something else as the issue.  Listen for what your child is and isn’t saying, and you’ll quickly get to the real issue.
• Acknowledge their complaints: It’s important that your child realize your listening.  So, if they’re complaining about something at school, be sure to mention it in your conversation (preferably early in it).
• …But, don’t start complaining with them: Get tired of hearing them complain, than don’t feed along by complaining with them.
• Accentuate the Positive: A lot of children have this vision of the “perfect” school year, and start complaining with the reality of the school year.  Your best tool is to refocus your child on the positives.  What are the things they’re good at?  What have they enjoyed in the past?  Just keep taking it back to being positive.

Focusing on the positive parts of school can go along way.  It is especially more effective when paired with an actively listening ear.  This is a great opportunity to teach optimism to children, and in a world that can be pessimistic, that’s a great thing.

Editor's Note:  Over the next several weeks More Than Medicine will be introducing some new regular writers.  Lauren McCann, who serves as the Outpatient Child Life Manager, is the first.  I Kid You Not is a new column that she will be writing.

by Lauren McCann
Child Life Manager

As the manager of the Child Life Department at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital, I have spent my career being confident in my educational background.  I have spent years of my life in undergraduate and graduate classes learning and applying information about children and families.  I know what the books say about child development.  I know how to explain to parents and caregivers useful information that can help them in their family’s daily life…. 

All that being said, you want to hear something ironic??  I often have no idea what I am doing with my own child!  I have been a mother for 18 short months and I am still figuring this motherhood thing out! 

What is it like to have a child after spending so much time studying child development and family dynamics??  You may think it is a cake walk because I should know the “right” things to do.  Truth be told, I have made plenty of choices for my daughter that would be considered debatable in the world of child development.  Does that mean I am now a bad parent?  No!  I, along with every other parent out there, am just making choices that are best for my family in that moment and there is nothing wrong with that! 

As I begin to post on this blog from time to time, I hope to share my viewpoint of parenthood, both as a person educated in the topic of children and families and as someone who is flying by the seat of her pants!  I hope to reinforce the fact that as parents, we are all in the same boat.  We love our children, but wonder if we are ever doing enough for them.  We make choices for our families every day, but we often second guess our decisions.  As parents, we are just doing the best we can! 

In my next installment, I will give you a few examples of our household handles a typical parenting decision….television!

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Let me start by saying that just because you work at a children’s hospital does not mean that you will never need the services. As a matter of fact, there are many Le Bonheur associates that have also been parents of patients.  I can know say that my family has joined those ranks with both of my children.

Late Saturday afternoon, my son and daughter had been playing around and my daughter fell about 2 ½ feet off of a bed and hit her head on a hard floor.  There wasn’t any blood, but instead a bump and lots of crying.  Everything was going great until she started vomiting.

A quick call to her pediatrician’s office, and we were told to watch her.  However, if she vomited again, we were to talk her to Le Bonheur’s Emergency Department.  Needless to say, on Saturday night, (after dropping my son off at a friend’s house) my wife, daughter, and I made our way to Le Bonheur’s Emergency Department.

Now, I know what you may be thinking, “this guy works for Le Bonheur. I mean they did trust him with a blog.  So, of course he’s going to get the red carpet.”  My family did receive great service, but most people we interacted with had no idea I was associated with Le Bonheur.”  How, you ask.  Simply put, I normally wear ties at work, and for some reason, I’m hard to spot in a t-shirt and shorts.  Also, I was serving that night in the role of a parent.

The Emergency Department was busy, but the physician, Dr. Pollack, and the rest of the staff did a great job caring for my daughter.  They made sure that she (and mom and dad) understood what was going on.  They made sure she was comfortable, even bringing her a warm blanket.  Trust me, it wasn’t cold, but she does loved blankets.

When she had to have a CT Scan (or a “cat vision” as she later told her brother), Angie, the radiology technician, took the time to teach her about the scan.  My daughter was obviously nervous, and the extra time of letting her stuffed pig experience it first made all of the difference.  Now, as I write this from both a parent and child life specialist perspective, it makes me proud to know that professionals like Angie here at Le Bonheur.

So, why am I telling you about this?  Because I, like the rest of Le Bonheur Children’s staff, love this hospital. It’s rare that I’m on the other side of care.  I am amazed and proud of the experience, and grateful for the care we were given.  I trust in this hospital so much that I would bring my own child here.

Fortunately, it turns out that she’s fine.  Personally, I think she inherited a hard head from her father…

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

There is something about August, when I am reminded of a certain Staples commercial.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not endorsing Staples as a company, but it certainly is clever advertising. 

The truth is that for a lot of parents, this is exactly how they feel.  Their child is going to get back on a normal schedule, and life will return to “normal”.  You might be surprised, but your child, though they would never say this out loud, is probably excited to be heading back to school.

I’ve talked a lot about the importance of maintaining schedules and routines while children are at Le Bonheur Children’s.  The truth is that childhood life is filled with schedules, and there is something comforting about knowing what comes next.  I can hear you know, “my kids love the summer break!” Sure, you child may like sleeping in, staying up late, and all of the free time, but remember that the majority of their time each year is scheduled.  A return to this is like a return to normal.

However, I would like to discuss one more element, and that is the possible increase in negative behaviors around this time of year.  Having just gone through the registration process with my two children, I can tell you that there were lots of kids that were showing out and the frustrated parents (myself included) to go with them.  So, why have the typically mild-manner children become unruly strangers?  And why does it seem to get worse when we talk about school?

Remember the first part: it’s not about going back to school.  They’re secretly excited (and you probably are too).  In fact, it is probably something far simpler: they’re scared/nervous/etc.

There are times when children face situations that they are not familiar with, and they may or may not have the emotional experience to be able to verbally express their feelings.  Your child may not even know what to call the way they’re feeling. But have no fear; you can help them!

If your child (and their behavior) is about to break your last nerve, try this approach: Pull them to the side, and ask them how they’re feeling.  Don’t talk about their behavior, but just how they’re feeling.  And here’s the real trick: really listen to them.  Ask them questions like, “Are you excited about school starting?” “Do you think you’re a little scared or nervous?”

You empathy can help your child cope with the situation.  If they know it’s normal to feel anxious, scared, nervous, or any other feeling, it helps relieve the pressure they’re under.  Mix that with a pep talk about how exciting this year will be, and you might just have solved the problem.

Oh, and, if the behaviors come back, repeat the process.  We all need to hear some things more than once.