by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

When most people think about childhood they consider carefree and fun, and for most part, that is the case. However, I was recently reminded that fear plays a role in childhood. As a matter of fact, I was smacked in the face with the fact as my children were learning to ride bikes.

Everyone remembers the joys and triumphs of learning to ride a bike. What may not be remembered is the falls, scrapes, and general anxiety/fear from the learning process. When we look back, why do we only recall the triumph? I think it is because we see riding a bike as a milestone of childhood, and it is celebrated as such. In the midst of the praise and positive reinforcement, all of the fear melts away as simply a shadow of the experience.

In my time at Le Bonheur, I have seen numerous children face fears. For some, it was the fear of needles/pain; for others, it was fear of the unknown; and for others, it was something unique to them. They didn’t have to tell me the way they felt; you could see it in their faces. Everything about them said fear and anxiety. The truth is that, at Le Bonheur, we will do everything we can to make any potentially stressful events as easy as possible. Despite that fact, it doesn’t take away the all of the fear the child experiences.

As parents, we have a wonderful opportunity to make a difference in the experience. So, I’d like to share my tips for helping children face their fears:

• Acknowledge their fear: There is something comforting in having our fears acknowledged. This doesn’t mean that you have to have a long, drawn out conversation about it. Instead, just listen to your child tell you about their fear, and tell them that you can understand how that would be scary. All of us want to be heard; you’re children included.
• Create a plan: Having a plan helps your child feel prepared for the potential fear. Helping your child decide what will help them get through the experience has them to be part of the process and they will be more bought into it. In the case of my daughter learning to ride her bike, it was having my wife run behind her but not holding on to her. It made her feel like she had the support whether it was there or not.
• Praise, praise, praise: I’ve said this lots of times on various posts, but the more, the better. Praise your child in advance, in the moment, and afterwards. Brag about how great your child did facing their fear to others, while your child is around. Praise them even after times has pasted. This positive reinforcement helps to realize that they accomplished something by facing a fear, and will make them more likely to deal positively with future situations.