by Jamie Droke
Child Life Specialist

One of the roles that I play as a Child Life Specialist in the intensive care units (both Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit) involves helping siblings visit their injured or ill brother or sister while they are in the hospital. In the intensive care units, we highly recommend that siblings complete an initial visit with a child life specialist so that they can be fully prepared for the sights and sounds of critical care areas that can be overwhelming even for some adults.

Oftentimes parents will ask the question of whether a sibling should visit. Although my answer depends on many different things, my most common answer is “YES!” In some situations, parents are hesitant to bring a sibling to visit because they are afraid that the sibling might be traumatized by seeing their brother or sister in such critical condition. However, for many school age children, their imaginations are very vivid and can be worse than reality. In addition, at Le Bonheur, we have child life available to provide preparation and education before a sibling visits so that the things in the ICU do not seem so scary after all.

When I do a sibling prep, I take pictures of the patient and their room. Then I have the pictures ready for when the sibling visits. We meet in the waiting room and they are able to see pictures of the general unit and of their brother or sister. We talk about each tube, monitor, number, and sticker in age appropriate language and remind the sibling that each thing is there to help their brother or sister, not hurt them. Of course young siblings who are too young to understand such preparation can still benefit from seeing the pictures beforehand. The term “desensitization” is often used to describe this process, where children can see medical equipment that might be scary on paper first so that when they see it in person, it is more like a game of I-spy than an overwhelming experience.

Some children, even with preparation cannot handle visiting their brothers and sisters. I always want to make sure that the siblings know that it is their choice of whether or not to visit and that they can change their mind at any time. It is important to never force a child to visit if they do not want to. I also accompany the siblings to the patient’s room and am constantly watching for signs of distress. If a sibling seems to be in distress I offer to take them back to the waiting room or to the play room. Often I will provide art supplies and suggest that they make a poster for their brother or sister’s room.

If you are wondering whether or not a sibling should visit, please talk to a child life specialist or comment here. Most of the time, my answer is yes, but there are occasions where siblings should wait to visit, such as if a patient has just returned from surgery. Parents, you know your kids best and we need your help in determining when the best time for a sibling visit might be.