by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

Most families will tell you that when their child is in the hospital, they would bend over backwards if that’s what it took to help the experience.  There is one thing that parents can do that will make a major difference in their child’s hospitalization.  It’s amazingly simple: be present during the hospitalization.

I realize that the last statement doesn’t seem like a major announcement, and in fact, it seems obvious.  However, I want to take the chance to underscore the in importance of having parental presence in the hospital.

First let me start by saying that from a historical standpoint, hospitals have not always allowed parents to stay with their child, but instead had visiting hours.  I am proud to say that that viewpoint is one that is almost gone. As a matter of fact, at Le Bonheur Children’s, we feel so strongly about it that in the new building there is space in every room for parents to sleep in the room.  That statement includes every critical care bed (i.e. intensive care unit, neonatal intensive care unit).

In fact, children’s hospitals will be the first to tell you that having parents there makes all of the difference in the child’s hospitalization.  This makes sense when you consider the fact that most children have spent little, if any, time in a hospital.  The environment is unlike any the child has been in, and can quickly become scary and overwhelming.  The child is cut off from their normal support systems, which would normally help them to cope with the situation.

The truth is that parents bring stability to the child’s life, and it shows the child that they are here as a support.  I tend to think of the parents (and the rest of the family) as something that helps to ground the child to their normal life outside of the hospital.  As patient and family centered as we are at Le Bonheur, we are no substitute for family.  That is not to say that we don’t care, but the child has lots more history with the parents than they do with us.

I should also mention that it is important for the family to be there physically and mentally, which can be a challenge.  Trust me, I have multitasked before, playing with my children and checking my phone, and my five-year-old son looks at me and says, “I thought you were playing with us, put away your phone.”  No truer words have been spoken, because the truth was I wasn’t there for them.

Now, life continues to happen, and families still need to carry on with their lives.  My advice for parents would be this: Try as best you can to be present during your child’s hospitalization.  Even if you have to take shifts, it’s better than not being present.  Oh yea, and put away your phone and be there.  I promise your child will thank you for it.

by Thomas Hobson
Child Life Director

This week, I had the experience of having a root canal.  Now, before you feel bad for me, I was grateful when the dentist asked me if I would like to start today.  And no, I’m not going for sympathy.

As I lay in the dental chair, looking up at the lights and ceilings, I was reminded of how scary coming to the dentist can be, especially if it is the first time.  There aren’t many kids I know that would be happy to let strangers put odd-looking equipment in their mouths.  However, have no fear, there are things that you can do to help your child have a great first visit to the dentist.

• Talk to you child about going to the dentist office: Talk about the sights, the sounds, the smells, and the tastes.  These are the areas that will most interest your child, and remember to keep the language positive.
• The purpose of the dentist and the team: It is important that children know that dentist are friendly doctors that help them to keep their teeth strong and healthy.  You can do a lot to reinforce to your child the importance and help a dentist gives.  Don’t forget to talk about the dental hygienist and other people in the office.
• Visit the dentist office: Before your child’s first dental cleaning, call the dentist office and see if they will allow you to come for a visit.  This is a great, non-threatening way to introduce your child to the environment.  Be sure to praise them during the experience.

A visit to the dentist is a great opportunity to talk about the importance of brushing teeth.  Use it as a time to remind them about how to brush and how it pays off.  Another great resource is an educational module on A Visit to the Dentist from the American Dental Association.

The most important thing is that you prepare them for the experience.  Their teeth need to last them a lifetime, and your dentist will thank you for all of your work.

Welcome back to the second part of my list of what to bring when spending the night at Le Bonheur Children's.  If you haven't read the first part, you can check it out here.  Below is the second half of my list, and it completes the basics.  Remember, you know the things that will make your child's experience easier, don't be afraid to bring those things.

Items to Bring from Home

6. Favorite pajamas and robe:  Let them pick them out in advance, and it's a great opportunity to give a choice in the process.  Also, hospitals can be cold (even in the summer), and the robe can help keep them warm.  That, and they'll just look awesome!
7. Change of clothes/toiletries:  Again, this seems crazy to say, but this if for both you and your child.  Some children want to wear street clothes, and if you and the treatment team agree it's alright, it gives the child a greater sense of security.  Also, you don't want to keep wearing the same clothes day after day or not brush your teeth, do you?
8. Games:  Do you have a regular family game night?  Bring along some of the games.  It could be board games, card games, or any other number of things.
9. School work:  Whenever we tell this to families we get two reactions:  parents nod and say definitely and children give us a look like even in the hospital, I can't get away.  This may take talking to your child's teacher in advance, but whether it's done in the hospital or not, it will still be there after your discharged.  Le Bonheur Children's is an accredited school program, and we have teachers on site that can help with direct instruction.
10. Humor:  Being admitted to the hospital is stressful, and it can take a lot of humor to get through parts of it.  A little light-hearted joking and laughter can go a long way.

Also, when all of these tricks wear out, we've got lots of other fun things to do like wagons, playrooms, elevators with a view, and lots of other neat things. Our want is for you and your child to have the least stressful experience possible.  Le Bonheur Children's has work hard to make you and your child's experience as great as possible, but we know that we can't make it just like home.  That's why we need your help, and knowing what to bring is the first step, for you, your child, and us.

Coming to spend the night in the hospital can be a stressful experience. It's difficult on not just the child, but also on the entire family. It's like packing for a trip, only you have not idea what you should even begin to bring. Lots of families may only have to stay at the hospital once. So, over the next two posts, I've give a suggested list of itmes to bring when you're going to spend the night(s) at Le Bonheur Children's.

Items to Bring from Home

1. Comfort Items: Make sure your child has their favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or whatever the favorite toy.
2. Pillow or bedding from home: Don't read this as we don't have bedding, we do (and they're pretty nice). The point of this is to bring the familiarity of home to the hospital, and it allows their room to be more individualized.
3. Favorite movies: We have a great selection of television channels, but there are time when children will want that one favorite movie. If you bring it, you'll have it at the tip of your fingers. We even have DVD players (with VHS to, for those old school folks) in patient rooms.
4. Books: This is for both you and your child. Let's face it, there is only so much television you can watch; have a back up plan with books.
5. Video game(s) and system: Is your child a gamer? Go ahead and bring the system and games. It will give them a familiar activity that will help maintain normalcy.

My guess is that part one this list seems pretty obvious, as it should be. However, when the stress of the situation actually sets in, lots of intelligent people seem to forget the basics. I'll cover the next five in our very next posts.

Also, I'd love to hear any funny stories of forgotten items when you or your family came in. Leave a comment and let us laugh with you.