A program offered by the Le Bonheur's Center for Children and Parents is seeing positive long-term effects on the development levels of preschoolers whose parents attend the Dare to be You seminar with their parents. The series of free classes held at various Shelby County childcare centers build skills in decision making, assertiveness, responsibility and esteem in children and parents.

The Dare to be You program is not just for parents and their 2-5 year olds; siblings and all family members are encouraged to attend. Dinner is served at each of the 11 weekly meetings, which are 2-3 hours long. Sessions are taught by at least three Le Bonheur outreach educators. Teens who are interested in a career in childcare also help facilitate the sessions. DTBY curriculum was developed by Jan Miller-Heyl at Colorado State University.

The pre- and post- surveys of the parents participating in the DTBY group showed increased confidence in parenting and about their parenting abilities and in their "knack for understanding what their children need or want." 

Pam Ripberger, a mother of a 3, 5 and 7 year old, said DTBY was a great refresher course on parenting. "Raising kids is always a challenge," she said. "It's different from generation to generation. How my parents raised me isn't necessarily how I'm going to raise my kids."

Ripberger and her family attended the 11-sessions at ABC Learning Center in Arlington. She learned how to use positive reinforcement to stay in control, especially of her seven-year-old son. "Instead of saying 'you did this wrong,' or 'this isn't right,' I say 'I'm going to give you a choice. Here's the alternative, you pick the way you want to do this," she said.

This tactic allows Ripberger to stay in control of the situation while allowing her son to reason through his two options.

Vicky Shivley Gaia, Early Childhood Services Manager, says DTBY provides parents with the tools and tactics to being great parents. "Families play the most important role in children's development. It's especially important at the preschool level to involve the whole family in building communication, social and problem-solving skills. Parents are seeing great results in their children's development."

Cynthia Dickerson, owner/director of Total Learning Center in Frayser, says halfway through the DTBY program, she's noticed a difference in behavior of the children and the parents.

"There are many parents who think spanking is the only option," Dickerson said. Her goal for offering the DTBY program at Total Learning Center was to teach parents how to manage behavior in a positive way. "The program is changing behavior and parents' ideas about discipline," she says.

A key component to the program is that the center's teachers also attend the sessions. Dickerson said that has given her and the center's teachers tools to reinforce the lessons taught. For example, a lesson about killer words, statements that leave negative results, carried over to the classroom. When Dickerson heard two boys arguing using killer words, she pointed them to a poster that highlighted positive affirmations. She discussed with the boys what happened when they used negative words. The boys decided that their responses did not work out so well.

Another component of the program is to change the participants' views on success and strengths. Each group is started with success sharing in the past week. They are encouraged to focus on small things such as, "I got up on time" or "I fixed breakfast for the kids." In one other session, participants are given seven pieces of candy and are asked to identify seven strengths they have in various areas.

To learn more about the program and how you can join, please contact the Le Bonheur Center for Children and Parents at 287-4700.