Helping Kids Navigate Big Changes: What Parents and Caregivers Should Know

Change is hard for everyone. But for children, whose brains are still developing and whose sense of security depends heavily on routine, even seemingly small transitions can feel overwhelming. Katelyn Dailey, a child life specialist at Le Bonheur Children's Hospital, works with children and families every day to reduce stress and build resilience.

And, her insights go well beyond the hospital walls. Dailey offers the following advice for any parent or caregiver who is encountering challenges in their day-to-day life.

Why Change Is So Hard for Kids

Children thrive on predictability. When routines are disrupted — whether by a move, a family change or a medical event — stress follows naturally.

"Anything that's out of your routine is going to be stressful for a child, because they're used to things going a certain way,” Dailey explains. Compounding this is the fact that children often lack the cognitive development to fully understand what is happening around them, which only adds to their anxiety.

What to Watch For

Not every child will come to a parent and say, "I'm struggling." In fact, most won't. However, they will show it in other ways. Dailey encourages caregivers to pay attention to changes in behavior. For example, a child losing interest in activities they used to love, regressing to behaviors they had previously outgrown or suddenly needing more reassurance than usual.

"Even if they're not getting told this is what's happening and this is why our family is different right now, they are picking up that something is different," she advises.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

When it comes to talking to children about change, Dailey's most important piece of advice is to be honest — but in a way that is appropriate for the child's age and developmental level. Parents do not need to share every detail. Children sense when something is wrong, and leaving them in the dark often makes things worse.

"Being honest in a developmentally appropriate way is so important," Dailey urges. Simple, concrete explanations work best for younger children. From there, the next step is validation. "Having their parents validate that emotion, and then giving them some kind of outlet to express it in an appropriate way, is really key," she adds.

Coping Strategies That Actually Help

Knowledge, Dailey states, is one of the most powerful coping tools available to children. Understanding what is happening — whether it is a surgery, a family transition or another significant event — gives children a sense of control.

From there, matching the coping strategy to the emotion matters. Anger might call for going outside and screaming or hitting a pillow. Sadness might call for journaling or talking with a trusted adult. The goal is always to give the feeling a safe, healthy outlet.

When to Seek Additional Support

If a child is not bouncing back, if regressions are persisting or if they are expressing thoughts of harm to themselves or others, Dailey recommends involving a mental health professional. Trusting that instinct as a caregiver is important.

Resources Worth Knowing

Dailey recommends two resources for families navigating change. The first is sesameworkshop.org, which offers interactive activities and age-appropriate tools covering topics like grief, divorce, moving and loss. The second is the book The Invisible String, a gentle and reassuring story about staying connected to loved ones even when physically apart — particularly helpful for families navigating separation, divorce, or loss.

Her closing message to caregivers is one worth holding onto. "You are your child's comfort person. If you are able to have a simple, developmentally appropriate conversation with your child, you're going to help them feel better about the experience as well."